I can’t get no…Satisfaction…

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. John Piper.

I honestly think that in most of our lives we are seeking to be satisfied; longing to have that feeling of fulfillment & to have our hearts desire until we feel “content” with our lives. It will never come on it’s own, and I personally believe that it will never come apart from Christ. This is why…

I fell in love when I was 15. Smitten. I was running away from my own issues & towards someone who wanted so desperately to fix them. It was a golden opportunity. Two broken people trying to fix one another – romantic, consuming, captivating. Fast-forward a couple of years…

I ended up marrying that boy.

I once heard someone describe loving with muchness. He loved me with muchness. He loved me with a beautiful diamond ring. He loved me with a cute little VW Cabrio. He loved me with a beautiful house. He loved me with a puppy. He loved me with a new computer. He loved me with new clothes.

My love language is not gifts so during our short lived marriage, I died on the vine. I withered away and was found longing to be satisfied in my soul. You could have looked into our lives (as I’m sure many did) and we were perfect; flawless. Two beautiful people with a beautiful life & a beautiful child with beautiful things.

I remember one evening trying to describe the longing that I had – from across the room – and I remember going to bed feeling the most alone I’d ever felt. Everything that I had in my life and I was in the most dry place I’d ever been.

People run from even the most “perfect” lives searching for something deeper, something more. I ran in search of something that would fulfill my longing. It’s true, I couldn’t – even in the perfect life – get no satisfaction.

It wasn’t until our divorce was final & my soul became filled with Jesus Christ himself that I no longer longed for a satisfaction that this world could provide; I gave up all of the materialism because it didn’t mean anything to me, any longer.

Now, because I am satisfied eternally, I don’t need someone here, on earth, to try to satisfy me with muchness. I am already satisfied. Now, I can be satisfied with people who are flawed & who don’t have much to give because I don’t find my worth in what people have to offer. I find my worth in what Jesus Christ offered me when He chose to give up his life.

Love,

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